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Have They Forgotten?  / Nancy
When it seems like others have forgotten, it has comforted me to see write.and talk with Nicholas' friends.  They have shared their memories with me and their love for my son.
Others forget special days ,anniversaries..and Nick's birthday.  This past July I had Sim's graveside service on Nick's birthday .  It was a beautiful.if somewhat windy day as we took turns spreading the ashes over Nick's grave as his daddy wished. The wind whipped to a noticeable fury as the prayer was given and the program begun . It subsided after I. my sister and niece poured the ashes from the bag and raked them into the ground atop Nicholas' grave ..  Every family member and friend participated in turn.  The experience was very emotional but rewarding.  I think we will never forget that special dedication day and birthday.
I am now planning the next visit to the cemetery ;a balloon release and the planting of 2 trees in  memory of my Sim's.
  I forgot to add earlier that we got together for an informal meal after the program at the Dyche Memorial Park..
Have they forgotten?  I'm speaking of the collective family and friends around the world who knew The McCarty's individually or Simeon Nicholas particularly.
Not always.  Most time they are afraid to bring up memories for fwar of adding more pain.  While I openly remember Nicholasso do others.  I think I have a good support system that can carry me through the difficult days into healing.
Have They Forgotten?  / Nancy McCarty
Has Everyone Forgotten?


The first weeks after Nicholas and Sim were gone there was emotional grief support. Friends occasionally dropped by with food. Cards arrived fairly often. Phone calls of encouragement came quite often. Then it ended. People became scarce and when around they often remained silent. It has made me feel like everyone has forgotten Nick and his daddy and I am left with a lonely emptiness.


Sim and Nicholas' leaving made others feel uncomfortable. Friends and family alike often seem afraid to mention their names for fear of causing a sad memory for me. What they fail to realize is that it is very healing for me to hear Nick and Bud spoken as
well as to hear stories that bring warm memories to mind. I long to hear about Nicholas from others.


It often helps me to talk about Nicholas to others breaking the ice of being uncomfortable. I love to hear Nick's name spoken warmly. The family and friends can know that that they too can talk about times spent with Nicholas or Sim. It can be healing for them and help our bonds strengthen if we go through this journey of grief hand-in-hand

There are those who say I should ''move on'' and not waste time with online memorials lost birthdays and angel date anniversaries. They will not recognize that my loss is a continuing empty void that needs attention. The absence of their support leads me to believe my precious family has been forgotten. Time has not provided that kind of healing..


ROSES FOR YOU,MY LOVE  / NANCY TO SIM


Roses  for you, sweetheart!  You loved beautiful roses!  You shopped ,more than once, for mother and me!  Sometimes there was not a particular holiday or occasion.  You showed your love and thoughtfulness.  We really cherish our necklace  watches too.  This lit candle is for you,too,Sim McCarty. I have known you and been near you since the late 60's.  Especially charming and romantic was our wedding in Morehead,Kentucky,March 13,1970.  We were dressed in our finest with our finest and best friends entowe-J.T. and Louise McGuiey from Shelbyville.

Beloved Sim  / Nancy

I love you and miss you very much Sim (Bud) I hope you get to be with Nick and maybe Hannah is there too.

Sim F. McCarty June 20 Sat morning 2009

Sim N.McCarty (Nick) June 7 Sat. morning 2005 Hannah, Nick's shepherd/husky August, 2005

 

GONE / Nancy

I've thought of several things to discuss with him but he is gone. I've almost gone looking for him. I've rushed to tell him something said by
his precious President Barack Obama or Kentucky's Coach Patino. I wipe
the smile off my face as I remind myself that there will never be a thought or story I will share again with him. No more afternoon chats and gentle teases. Never another uplifting cathartic discussion
about Nicholas or the ghosts of 'that night'. 4 years earlier.

Who am I?

 I used to be the wife and helpmate of a wonderful godly man. But we are gone forever.
He's in the room Christ prepared for him in Heaven. I'm here----without him-----the single most influential,  charismatic figure of my adult
life.The person whose opinion mattered the most and who had to be sought out on every thought---large or small. He nor I realized it was that serious until June 2o when he died. Sim McCarty, a gentle affable man; giving and kind to friends and family or stran gers alike, will never know the depth of his worth on this earth  He and my Nicholas are both gone. It hurts. I miss them. I miss HIM.


He was my buddy. That was his hometown nickname that I didn't use but it seemed the world did. On the day of his memorial at our son's Laurel County Kentucky gravesite an acquaintance was glad to see us and was, no doubt, happy about our little celebration for the life of Sim McCarty.He just needed one little key piece. Was Sim F. McCarty any kin to "Buddy" McCarty?
True story. Just ask  Gary at the  station.


I'm tempted to ask God why he had to die!


But I choose to stand firm in our faith---------------my faith and Sim's faith. I choose to become trusting .
I won't question God's motives.His judgement, sovereignity or His love for me.
For I know His Ways are not my ways. And His ways are righteous..
I will trust in His Master plan.--------
I will draw strength from Him.................
I will remember His Promises-------------

MISSING YOU  / Nancy

''Grief is like wearing invisible clothing.  No one else can see it,and only I can feel it.  Some days it is heavy, some days it is light.  But I know it will be with me for the rest of my life.''

MISSING YOU

i SIT here in this chair alone

Watching friends and family go

They have stopped to pay respect

Bringing food and flowers and say hello

This situation seems so familiar

It hs happened to our family before.

Overwhelming love and support

Surrounding us more and more.

Something tragic has happened to you

And no one knows just why

You have left this world behind you

And forgot to say 'Goodbye.''

Did something call you from beyond

Or need you right now my love?"

Is your pain and suffering that you felt

Make you want that call from above?

You must have been so very sad

And wounded so very deep

To not remember the ones you left

Who would stay and wait and weep.

I know your pain has ended now

And your soul has been set free

But do you know how many lives you've touched?

And what you meant to me?

Your deep bass, your cleverness is what I will miss

And now I have to wait

To hear and see your face again

When I reach our heaven's gate.

Until the day we meet again

I know you'll watch from above

You are now a guardian angel

To protect us with your love.

Sept.2009

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